Hey all :-). I haven't blogged in a while, but I just wanted to update. Life is un-fun sometimes. I say that with a grain of salt, cause, you know, this is the land of prosperity. But, prosperity and Jesus are two different deals, so I can be miserable regardless.
Bottom line, God took my life and hit the pause button yesterday. The wednesday worship and service I listened to yesterday brought me to my knees and I realized that I needed to come back to Jesus. Because it doesn't matter what I've done in the past, I repent again that I need Him, desperately.This song just popped into my head yesterday and I've been singing it...the lyrics are just precisely me right now.
Tell me I’m forgiven and loved
‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests
On how God is love and how man can be clean
But my joy has been on holiday
And my peace has almost passed away
Tell me I’m forgiven and free
CHORUS
Oh I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation
But I bought the lie I still have work to do
Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation
But there is no condemnation in You
Oh whisper to me now that it’s for real
‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal
Dirty deeds have done me in
Oh but that can’t stop the faithful friend
Giving mercy once again as You heal
Here it is I’m feeling it
(Chorus)
Oh He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation
And His blood commands my guilt to leave
Now on Calvary I stand
Empty pockets, open hands
Oh there is no condemnation for me
(Chorus)
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven
And child, you are loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
I honestly forgot that I can't work for my salvation. Singing worship songs, writing about Bible verses--even talking about God--it's not what matters. What matters is that I'm forgiven. I'm FORGIVEN. I won't be condemned.
If I can be really open with you, I have struggled deeply with some nasty stuff. I fell into lust and I didn't think that I would ever be forgivable. I didn't think that I could ever be free.
Then I was free. He answered my prayers. But, like me, I went back to my old thought process. I left my forgiveness.
But I'm here to say that this is not the end. I am NOT going to live some way that is not glorious. I'm going to do whatever it takes to embrace forgiveness.
~Here via grace,
Elissa
Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible joy. 1 Peter 1:8
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Yay for changes!
New template, new photo (taken + made by yours truly), new font, new colors, new everything! So please don't get scared and leave, it's still me :). And helloooo new followers! I can't believe I actually got like 3 more :). I wish I had more to say, but it's late and I'm tired, so I shall bide thee farewell.
~Elissa
~Elissa
Monday, February 6, 2012
31 day Bible challenge
Hey blog world!!
I just wanted to share something kind of cool that I've decided to do...at my "second" church, they are doing a 31 day Bible challenge where you (legit) read the whole Bible in a month. Crazy, right? But it's possible! I've already survived 5 days of it!
I'd like to extend the challenge. Don't make excuses...just ask God if you should do it! Also, if you are extremely lazy/can't sit still/like to do other things with your two 1/2 hours a day other than read, try what I'm doing! I downloaded the free youversion app on my iPod and am listening to the audio books of the Bible! It's pretty awesome if you ask me.
Step up. Try it. I dare you :).
Print out this sheet. Don't worry about what day you start on, just follow the chapter assignments!
God bless!
Elissa
I just wanted to share something kind of cool that I've decided to do...at my "second" church, they are doing a 31 day Bible challenge where you (legit) read the whole Bible in a month. Crazy, right? But it's possible! I've already survived 5 days of it!
I'd like to extend the challenge. Don't make excuses...just ask God if you should do it! Also, if you are extremely lazy/can't sit still/like to do other things with your two 1/2 hours a day other than read, try what I'm doing! I downloaded the free youversion app on my iPod and am listening to the audio books of the Bible! It's pretty awesome if you ask me.
Step up. Try it. I dare you :).
God bless!
Elissa
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Pictures and covering a lot of ground :-)
Hey all!! Who is a blogging epic fail? This girl! But this post is gonna (hopefully) cover what I've wanted to say (and do it via pictures, yay!).
This is from C.S. Lewis's The Weight of Glory which is absolutely brilliant. For quite a while actually I have been struggling with feeling like I don't fit in. I still struggle every day. There are only a select few people I feel I can be myself around. But anyhow, this book and a realization (that I am selfish when I feel like I don't belong when I'm doing things with other people) have changed me.
We are strangers in this world.
We were made for more.
It's really not a good thing to "fit in."
Basically, nothing I can do can push God away. Is that not crazy awesome?? I mean, seriously. I can be such an idiot and He somehow loves still. And His creation is just beautiful, so I've been loving editing pics of nature :-).
Life can be so confusing. Just when I think I've got it figured out, I realize that I've been pointlessly prideful and I really know nothing at all. I caused myself some major pain recently, and it wasn't until I realized I was being a monster that I could let go and confess that I messed up pretty badly. And it was in said state of brokenness that God showed me the below verse (romans 13):
Somehow, the picture of being clothed with Jesus hit me hard. Wearing Jesus. Having Him define my everything. That's what I want, desperately. And I had not read this before, but realizing that it's a conscious choice of THOUGHT to not sin got me. Blog world, will you keep me accountable to this verse? God wants me to live it.
That's scary. And awesome.
Now, on a light note, let's not try to fix things we have no business sticking our paws into. If you're feeling out of control (like me!) then let go and let God.
~Elissa
[all pictures belong to me except the "lol cat"]
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Venting/Praying/sorting through some stuff :)
This post is kinda weird...But if you're struggling in any way, maybe you'll relate.
I don't even know if I'm going to post this, but I seriously feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't blog. I'm kind of slowly-surely been losing my mind over the past few weeks. Or quite possibly it's been the past months but i didn't see it. Who realizes it when they're going nuts?
So yeah. Yesterday and today I realized that I can't keep up a normal conversation without feeling stupid, acting stupid, or saying something stupid. I just don't know. I feel so stupid!
Alrighty. Scratch that. Lately life has been a learning experience. Life ain't bad at all for me. I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends, and even if my relationships are wrought with imperfection, they are a blessing. I have everything I could possibly want in the way of education and the ability to follow my dreams.
And yet there's this aching for more. Usually it's fed by wasting time. Just plain slaughtering time. Tonight I spent 3 hours on youtube, for example. Sometimes the achy emptiness comes up and is too big to ignore, and I feel panicky and maybe that's why I feel stupid. Sometimes I act recklessly. I'm NOT saying I have an excuse. I am saying I need to find a way to fill this that's not sinning or pointless.
I really, truly want to reach people. I want to shine a real genuine light in other's lives. But honestly I can't do that without God. Something I read today kinda hit me... it was in My Utmost for His Highest.
"No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely on them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives. All our vows and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to carry them out. When we have come to the end of ourselves, not in imagination but really, we are able to receive the Holy Spirit."
I fully believe my reading that was providential. I feel at the end of myself. Not because I'm mourning or anything in particular is wrong, but I just feel empty. Or rather, honestly, I feel like I've tried every "dessert" on the table but didn't get the specialty, the main dish. Like I've been wasting away doing nothing important.
I HAVE relied too heavily on the changes He's wrought. I've thought that I'm too modest to fall into sin, too kind to fall, too considerate to fall, too moral to fall, to loving to fall. But still I ended in denial. Like Peter, failing the test of allegiance. So what went wrong? According to Oswald Chambers, it's because I did not build my hope on Christ alone. And I never really accepted the Holy Spirit as being what I need because I'm nothing on my own. I want to change NOW, Lord. But if You want me to wait on You, I'm ready to do that. I want to spend my life on something worthwhile. Wherever you lead, Lord. Lead on.
I don't even know if I'm going to post this, but I seriously feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't blog.
Alrighty. Scratch that. Lately life has been a learning experience. Life ain't bad at all for me. I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends, and even if my relationships are wrought with imperfection, they are a blessing. I have everything I could possibly want in the way of education and the ability to follow my dreams.
And yet there's this aching for more. Usually it's fed by wasting time. Just plain slaughtering time. Tonight I spent 3 hours on youtube, for example. Sometimes the achy emptiness comes up and is too big to ignore, and I feel panicky and maybe that's why I feel stupid. Sometimes I act recklessly. I'm NOT saying I have an excuse. I am saying I need to find a way to fill this that's not sinning or pointless.
I really, truly want to reach people. I want to shine a real genuine light in other's lives. But honestly I can't do that without God. Something I read today kinda hit me... it was in My Utmost for His Highest.
"No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely on them, build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives. All our vows and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to carry them out. When we have come to the end of ourselves, not in imagination but really, we are able to receive the Holy Spirit."
I fully believe my reading that was providential. I feel at the end of myself. Not because I'm mourning or anything in particular is wrong, but I just feel empty. Or rather, honestly, I feel like I've tried every "dessert" on the table but didn't get the specialty, the main dish. Like I've been wasting away doing nothing important.
I HAVE relied too heavily on the changes He's wrought. I've thought that I'm too modest to fall into sin, too kind to fall, too considerate to fall, too moral to fall, to loving to fall. But still I ended in denial. Like Peter, failing the test of allegiance. So what went wrong? According to Oswald Chambers, it's because I did not build my hope on Christ alone. And I never really accepted the Holy Spirit as being what I need because I'm nothing on my own. I want to change NOW, Lord. But if You want me to wait on You, I'm ready to do that. I want to spend my life on something worthwhile. Wherever you lead, Lord. Lead on.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Why nothing can ever shake our confidence
When the world crashes in, that's when we are given the hope that never dies.
Nothing can separate us from Him. Just take a breath and consider that promise... He goes WITH YOU. Wherever you are.
Like anyone, I've had my world turn upside down. But when it did last time, I made a fatal mistake...I forgot that it's happened before. I forgot what He's lead me through. I forgot that He is there with me in the valley of the shadow of death.
Even though I can't say I've felt as much loss, as much darkness, as much death, as some, I can say that regardless of circumstance, He is there.
He's not a slave to your circumstances. You are. You can escape into His arms. You can move past whatever enslaves you. You can press on when the world is upside down.
Deuteronomy 31:6
New International Version (NIV)
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Like anyone, I've had my world turn upside down. But when it did last time, I made a fatal mistake...I forgot that it's happened before. I forgot what He's lead me through. I forgot that He is there with me in the valley of the shadow of death.
Even though I can't say I've felt as much loss, as much darkness, as much death, as some, I can say that regardless of circumstance, He is there.
He's not a slave to your circumstances. You are. You can escape into His arms. You can move past whatever enslaves you. You can press on when the world is upside down.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Years!!
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!
I thought I'd share what my "New Year's Prayers" (Yeah, I decided to call them that :)) were for 2011.
Yep, that was it! I just wanted to seek His face more...to love Him more...to not let anything else dictate how I lived. I'm so grateful for everything I've learned this year. It wasn't easy. It wasn't particularly pleasant at times. But it was worth it.
11 things I learned in 2011
1. It doesn't matter how something feels. It can feel right and be wrong...and vice versa.
2. There is never, NEVER a point when He isn't there for me any longer.
3. He will lift the heavy burden and give me rest.
4. Pride is the most addictive drug and the most painful living death.
5. Even when I begin to doubt the most fundamental of my beliefs, there is hope in a single cry, a single prayer.
6. When I find my happiness in something other than God, I become bitter. But in Him, not sin, is pure joy.
7. Emotions just plain stink.
8. I want to fall into the space in between me and God.
9. Worship is a way of living, not being on a stage.
10. You never know whose life you are reaching if you are simply living in love.
11. Life comes down to the fact that God holds the future and we must trust Him.
Blog readers, I just want you to know that I love you... Let's make 2012 a new year. Let's live in new ways. Let's embrace a new chance to change the world for the people around us, through Him.
~Elissa
I thought I'd share what my "New Year's Prayers" (Yeah, I decided to call them that :)) were for 2011.
1. Not wear makeup until May 5th, 2011 (my 16th birthday).
2. Ask God in concerns of modesty.
3. Spend the rest of my teen years, starting now, learning what GOD thinks about me, not what others think of me.
4. Seek how God wants to be glorified in the things that mean the most to me: riding, writing, and music.
Yep, that was it! I just wanted to seek His face more...to love Him more...to not let anything else dictate how I lived. I'm so grateful for everything I've learned this year. It wasn't easy. It wasn't particularly pleasant at times. But it was worth it.
11 things I learned in 2011
1. It doesn't matter how something feels. It can feel right and be wrong...and vice versa.
2. There is never, NEVER a point when He isn't there for me any longer.
3. He will lift the heavy burden and give me rest.
4. Pride is the most addictive drug and the most painful living death.
5. Even when I begin to doubt the most fundamental of my beliefs, there is hope in a single cry, a single prayer.
6. When I find my happiness in something other than God, I become bitter. But in Him, not sin, is pure joy.
7. Emotions just plain stink.
8. I want to fall into the space in between me and God.
9. Worship is a way of living, not being on a stage.
10. You never know whose life you are reaching if you are simply living in love.
11. Life comes down to the fact that God holds the future and we must trust Him.
Blog readers, I just want you to know that I love you... Let's make 2012 a new year. Let's live in new ways. Let's embrace a new chance to change the world for the people around us, through Him.
~Elissa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)