Tuesday, January 1, 2013

unbeautiful alien --> without blemish & unaccused

I do not feel beautiful. I feel that I am overlooked and unimportant. Lord, please show me the answers.

"how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ" Ephesians 3:18b

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together...once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now, He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body though death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation--if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven." Colossians 3:17, 21-23

"He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together...I need that. I'm falling apart, fading away...I have no confidence in myself so I need to take confidence in Him. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. I am fighting a battle against myself every day.  I AM evil. I have sinned and I have caused very significant pain and damage and I am a ruin. But now, He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body though death to present you holy in his sight, To have a chance to be seen with Christ's pure white in front of all my blackness and guilt, to receive GRACE that doesn't depend on me...insanity. without blemish and free from accusation I am so afraid of being condemned. I live in fear of it every day, and I'm going to have to deal with it in real life and I am so afraid. I thank You so much that somehow You won't? --if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. I have to live it; live the fact that Jesus is alive and He died to set me free. Live the gospel, wear it on my sleeve as I proclaim: I'm not alright, I'm crushed and bruised, and there is a God that takes even me. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven." Colossians 3:17, 21-23

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I wrote this post a long time ago, back in August, and didn't publish it. What's crazy is how much I needed to read it today. Maybe it will help you too?

~Elissa