Hey all :-). I haven't blogged in a while, but I just wanted to update. Life is un-fun sometimes. I say that with a grain of salt, cause, you know, this is the land of prosperity. But, prosperity and Jesus are two different deals, so I can be miserable regardless.
Bottom line, God took my life and hit the pause button yesterday. The wednesday worship and service I listened to yesterday brought me to my knees and I realized that I needed to come back to Jesus. Because it doesn't matter what I've done in the past, I repent again that I need Him, desperately.This song just popped into my head yesterday and I've been singing it...the lyrics are just precisely me right now.
Tell me Im forgiven and loved
‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests
On how God is love and how man can be clean
But my joy has been on holiday
And my peace has almost passed away
Tell me I’m forgiven and free
CHORUS
Oh I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation
But I bought the lie I still have work to do
Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation
But there is no condemnation in You
Oh whisper to me now that it’s for real
‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal
Dirty deeds have done me in
Oh but that can’t stop the faithful friend
Giving mercy once again as You heal
Here it is I’m feeling it
(Chorus)
Oh He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation
And His blood commands my guilt to leave
Now on Calvary I stand
Empty pockets, open hands
Oh there is no condemnation for me
(Chorus)
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven
And child, you are loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
I honestly forgot that I can't work for my salvation. Singing worship songs, writing about Bible verses--even talking about God--it's not what matters. What matters is that I'm forgiven. I'm FORGIVEN. I won't be condemned.
If I can be really open with you, I have struggled deeply with some nasty stuff. I fell into lust and I didn't think that I would ever be forgivable. I didn't think that I could ever be free.
Then I was free. He answered my prayers. But, like me, I went back to my old thought process. I left my forgiveness.
But I'm here to say that this is not the end. I am NOT going to live some way that is not glorious. I'm going to do whatever it takes to embrace forgiveness.
~Here via grace,
Elissa