My Last Day as a 15-year-old

So, today was the very last day I lived at the age of 15!!

That sounds sad somehow. I was just thinking about and praying that this next year in front of me will not be the same as last year.  I know, because I have seen and heard, that 16 can be a hard year.  A year of scary choices and fears.  But I want it to be a year of new beginings...

After a less than perfect conversation on a less than perfect night in this less than perfect world, my brother and I both met the same conclusion--we NEED God to help us straighten up.  I needed to re-amp my faith and be forgiven of the apathy and evil I was not exactly promoting... but 100% tolerating, which is sin. 

And even if I'm still going to fall, I want to know that "He knows the plans He has for me--to prosper me and not to harm me."  With that promise, I need not doubt salvation, fall into fear, sink in the mire of sinful desire, fight with carnall wants, or any sin!  I need only to love Him. Alone. that's legit it! Love Him.

Anyhow, my day was pretty average--with less than average moments.  Fed chickens, did school, then went on a picnic with my sister.  She showed me her favorite spots and it was a wonderful thing to do with her! Moved mentioned chickens.  Rode.  Read my manual for my written driver's test.  Felt convicted [while riding] to tell God something--and I mean it.  "I want to want salvation for real now, God--I want it for YOU. not to be safe. YOU".  Still comprehending that. crazy.

this post was slightly scatterbrained.  Something else Im leaving behind this year is feeling obligated to "stuff God" into everything.  I'm wanting now to NEED to have Him here.  In my blog...and my life. Again deeply crazy.  Will you, blog reader, hold me to this?  I'm ready to love.  I don't get it, but all I desperately need is love.