What if we were real?

(disclaimer: I know there is a cd by that name, which I still want to get, as it sounds awesome-sauce)
(disclaimer 2: I may become personal/mushy/ridiculous in this post...tired...)

What if I stopped trying to be "the perfect Christian" and just admitted that at times, things in the Christian life don't make sense?

What if I told you that waiting is the hardest thing for me and I tend to have this attitude toward God?

***

Me: "This doesn't make sense anymore, Lord. You showed me the Way last month (or last year, or yesterday, or at that camp, or at that revival, or in that book), but I just don't get it anymore."

God: "Wait on Me."

Me: "But God, I don't think You heard me. I said 'this doesn't make sense to me right now'. Why can't You make it make sense?"

God: "Wait on My timing."

Me: "But Lord, that is NOT what feels good to me. My emotions say I should throw reason to the wind and ignore You. *goes on my own way, struggling*"

God: "I'll lead you if you will wait on Me."

Me: "*not listening* God, I can't hear You! Are You even there?"

God: "*softly, through the chaos* just wait on Me."

Me: "*breaking down in tears now* God, I've tried everything. I waited until all else failed, but now I'm going to listen to You, what should I do?"

God: "Trust Me."

***

That may not be the most spiritual prayer ever, but that's been how God's spoken to me lately. I'm really learning that tuning Him out is so easy to do, and such a bad idea.  He's there...I just need to listen.

What have your conversations with God been like lately? (Remember, if you're like me, it's hard to say that you've "heard God speak." But anything--from a Christian lyric to a hard-hitting verse can be His voice reaching you in love.)

~Elissa